Thursday, October 14, 2010

A sadist, a superwoman, a joker and a something else

I had been to an audition. A western music audition. Hard core Hindustani classical music singer going in for a western music audition. I don't know what I was thinking going to project lotus. I knew I was going to be rejected as I knew something was not right but I had to give it a try.

Firstly, when I saw the crowd, my initial reaction was a gasp. I certainly knew I was at a very wrong place in a very wrong outfit. The website said ‘dress appropriately’. That’s a very subjective term indeed- ‘appropriate’. Well, don’t picture me in a salwar or a kurta. I was in a decent pair of light blue denim and an ALMOST plain but a cute purple tee. (Well...to me, anything purple seems cute) I thought that would be ‘appropriate’ enough to go up on stage n sing. Others seemed to perceive it a little differently. They were in ‘we-are-already-famous’ outfits and their hair carefully done. So that was the second 'why-am-I-here' experience.

I was sipping at my coffee when cameras, lights and other recording related stuff started entering the cafe. I freaked out as I had not told anyone except four very close friends that I was going to give an audition- not even my folks mind you. On top of that I was gonna be shot n probably be telecasted on tv which I majorly detested cuz I knew how I was gonna sing and having watched 'idol' shows, I was aware that TRPs are high when they telecast the auditions. I sat in a corner wondering if I should really give it a shot. Needed some strong motivational power which would walk me till the stage. I saw girls with their guitars, keyboards seeming confident enough to grab the prize. I continued to sit in a corner with a cup of cappuccino, followed by another cup and one more.

I grouped the participants into 4 main types. Its absolutely a wrong thing to do when you are not sure why you are there.
a) Girls with beautiful voices AND with a good taste of song selection (which according to me is quite rare a combo to find)
b) Girls with good voice with a very bad taste
c) Girls with crappy voice making the most beautiful songs sound as crappy as their voices
d) Girls with crappy voice and crappy taste

C & D make me feel good. Sometimes sadistic. That’s the main reason I watch all these American/Indian idol auditions and go on with my ‘destructive criticisms’. And that's one of the main reasons as to why I didn't want to sing. Yeah I know I’m sick but it’s pleasant in its own sad little way. I'm a mix of a sadist and a masochist.

I sat for roughly an hour and a half listening to all sorts of singers. There was this sudden superwoman-ish feeling which sprung up and made me move my ass from the warmed up cushion. I took the application form from a volunteer, filled it up. Was asked to show my passport which I humbly declined as I did not own one(I have applied for one now). Instead showed my driver’s license which made them clear that I wasn't a kid below 19years nor a lady over 25years. After waiting for another half hour I was sent to the backstage still having 7 8 singers ahead of me. I could faintly hear a random above mentioned type C girl singing. A guy standing beside me asked ‘what are you gonna sing?’ I stared at him to confirm he was talking to me. He continued, ‘hmm? Which song?’ I said “oh umm... I was practising my lines. Sorry Didn’t get you..”
He repeated and I answered. I don't know why but he made me feel 'why on earth am I here' once again. He turned out to be one of the volunteers and happened to ask me if I needed an instrument to back up my singing with the chords. I wondered if he was being that nice to the other girls as well. I found out later that he was. I told him I couldn’t play any and he was being super nice to me and offered to assign someone to play the chords.
He went up to a guy who stood with a guitar and exchanged words. The guy with a guitar came to me and asked what I was planning to sing. I answered. I was asked on what pitch I was going to sing. I said ‘black 2’. He looked at me in great amazement. That’s when it dawned upon me the fact that I was NOT at a place where people understand Indian classical terms. By then he had reacted saying “what IS that?!” “C minor. I think.” I corrected myself, still in doubt. By then I was feeling out of the place for the 894657th time.

I went up the stage, had a strange feeling. Sort of nausea. One of the judges warmly greeted me. He asked my name and I answered in the James Bond style. "Rao, Amrita Rao." He then asked a question I have answered (sometimes not answered) a hundred- if I was the bollywood actress Amrita Rao. Duh! I said "No, I'm Amrita Rao the singer" god! How I wish that conversation never happened! Sigh! I started to sing. They stopped me mid way. I knew I was gonna be rejected but had hoped they would atleast listen to the song if not select. The judge said, "Amrita! Why are you so sweet?". I wanted to say "No drama please just say no and send me out." I didn't. I smiled. He continued, "you have a sweet voice, you look so sweet and you sing so sweetly!" (I thought to myself, yes go on. You are on a roll) "..BUT, we are looking out for something...mmm... spicy." So I was at a very wrong place, in a very wrong attire, singing a very wrong song. :-/ I smiled and thanked them and took a leave praying to god that there would be some technical problem and the camera missed out recording all of these. I still am hoping. I thanked the guy who was going to play the guitar who infact didn't play for some reason.

On the whole it was a new experience. I somehow did impress the judges though they were looking out for something else. That is what they said. I have no idea if they really meant it but I'll continue to be a 'sweet' munchkin and believe whatever was told. No regrets. Was happy that I wasn’t being a timid duckling to have not sat sipping at my fourth cup of cappuccino and warming up the cushion a little more. Instead went up till the stage and attempted singing.

A little worried that someone might have put me under an E or an F or a Z category :P

No comments: